By Sinead Armstrong
The dictionary defines “friendship” as “the emotions or conduct of friends”. But what does that mean? And what is “friendship”?
Personally, I believe that friendship is a relationship between two – or more – people, where there’s an unspoken understanding of each other; a quiet gravity that pulls your souls together, but hums louder than anything else. Friendship is a bond that transcends beyond the triviality of slight differences and pushes the boundaries of what we believe love, trust, and belonging can be.
Curious to see how these thoughts extended beyond my own, I turned to a friend – someone who has lived the quiet, complex poetry of friendship with me – my best friend.
When I asked them what friendship means, they had to take some time to really think about the question before ultimately saying,
“Friendship means a lot to me, and our friendship showed me that it means more than I thought for so long. Friendship means walking through the different paths of life together, hand in hand, and always being there for each other – no matter the distance or how painful it can be. It’s knowing that through the worst or even best times of your life, you have support. You guide one another every step of the way, and might even know each other better than you know yourselves. Through laughter and tears, they are always there. A true friend will always remind you that you are never alone.”
To balance the deep introspection, I asked a few light-hearted questions to capture the playful side of our friendship.
“Describe our friendship in three words.”
“The three words I would use to describe our friendship are: trust, understanding, and harmonious.
“Trust is the foundation of every relationship, and if you don’t trust each other, what’s the point of being around each other?
“Understanding is integral, and between us, we always understand each other, even if we don’t agree with one another. We talk and listen to the other, always striving to understand the situation and each other.
“Harmonious covers mostly everything: patience, empathy, mutual support, love, respecting boundaries, and respecting each other. I believe we have that, which is beautiful.”
“Which famous duo do you think best represents our friendship?”
“I would pick Cristina Yang and Meredith Grey, from Grey’s Anatomy. I think they’re the most fitting for us — I mean, we are twisted sisters; if you know them, then you know.”
And lastly, I asked them — in the best way they could — to tell the story of our friendship. This response required the deep introspection we tried to get away from. Again, they took a moment before finally answering:
“Sinead and I met through mutual friends at the end of 2021. There was a group of us, and we all went to watch a movie. For a while, Sinead and I weren’t very close. We talked to each other, but we weren’t anything like we are now. I always liked her and wanted to be close to her. Though many things – and people – left us at the halfway point. Over time, we grew much closer. I felt like I had woken up, and she was everything.
“Later, in 2022, I moved schools, and inevitably, we became even more inseparable. We have weaved in and out of friend groups and mutual friendships, but we’ve always stuck together. I think at some point we both came to an unspoken mutual decision that we would never leave each other. Over the span of four years, we have only been drawn closer, and our friendship has blossomed into what it is today. And, I love her and our friendship more than I will ever be able to put into words.”
Hearing her say that reminded me why true friendships are so precious. It’s not just the laughter or shared memories. But it’s patience, time, and unwavering support that make it special.
Friendship – I’ve learned – is both simple and profound. It’s a bond that pushes us, challenges us, and shapes who we are. And in that truth, I am endlessly grateful for hers.